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【社会人文】能不能生育，是个人隐私
Fertility is personal
By Zoe Taylor
October 12, 2006 12:00
THERE are certain questions that you just do not ask a woman in polite conversation: how much she weighs; what she earns; the size of her mortgage.
So why, when it comes to fertility, do people completely forget their manners?
The decision to start a family, and the trials often involved in trying, are some of the most personal issues a woman will grapple with.
But it appears to be an area where empathy is lacking.
The continual debate about social or financial infertility leaves working women open to questions about when they are going to have children.
Childless women in their 30s cannot escape the constant reminders that their biological clock is ticking.
Some are not the least concerned, for others it is a painful reality. But rest assured that few will appreciate being grilled about it in public.
At a recent gathering of my closest girlfriends from high school, the only one of six of us not to have bred or be about to become a mother, was put on the spot.
It was demanded of her to explain whether she wanted children and why she had not made any obvious progress.
Needless to say, the inquisitor was not one of the three of us who have experienced the heartbreak of miscarriage.
To my mind, even in such an intimate group, the questions were inappropriate.
Women in the public eye are even fairer game, it seems.
Celebrity magazines constantly circle possible baby bumps and spread gossip about fertility treatment. For these women, this is the price they pay for fame while they reap other rewards.
For the rest of us, once you have had a child, it seems like anything goes.
There are some lucky couples that plan to have three children two years apart with no problems and achieve it. Good for them. But there are many more for whom things do not run smoothly.
A friend who has one child and recently miscarried her second told me that rarely a day goes past without someone asking her when number two is coming along.
Sometimes the questions are from strangers. Sometimes they are from mothers who should know better.
She said when close friends notice her eyes glisten as she tries to answer, she confides about the miscarriage.
I have had to field the question so often, that I have developed a standard response. Am I going to have more children? I hope so.
Even that did not deter my kind-hearted, but naive young hairdresser recently, who went on to talk about how exciting that was.
I did not shatter her illusions. I did not share stories about months of waiting and wondering, of the pain of failed pregnancies, of the burden of putting a on brave face.
Hopefully, she will be one of the lucky ones not to experience such things.
I have made myself a promise never to ask the question.
I am a self-confessed sticky beak, but not matter how many telltale signs or how close the friend, I will never ask about a woman's fertility.
Sometimes it can be a great source of comfort to share your thoughts and fears with friends, but only if the participants are willing volunteers.
taylorz@dailytelegraph.com.au
http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/opinion/story/0,22049,20563088-5001031,00.html 认领了... 偶本来想另外译个轻松恶搞版的，结果这个文的调子太沉重了，只能译成现在这个样子了，还抢了feierdk兄的沙发，真是
大家拿臭鸡蛋砸我吧
生弗生关侬啥事体
诸君大抵不会向一位女士打听体重、收入或家庭负担的情况吧，因为您知道这是一种礼貌。可当您大问特问生育问题时，咋就把“礼貌”抛到九霄云外去了尼？
决心成家并尝试相关的一些未必会成功的事，这些内容都是女性心中最私人最不想透露的秘密。然世人似未能很好的体谅女性们的这种心情。
“不肯生”到底是社会大环境的影响还是出于个人经济情况的考虑？关于这个问题的争论就一直没消停过。不管怎样，职业女性不得不直面这个“啥时要孩子”的问题。若一女子到了三十多岁还未育，则一定会不断有“好心人”提醒，说“生孩子的黄金时间要过啦！”。
这种话，部分人不过当作耳旁风，部分人已是不堪其扰，其他的那些个，在公共场合被这样说，心里亦定是不爽的。最近我们几个高中时的六个闺密碰头，那唯一一个还没生且还不准备生的主儿就遭此“惨遇”。大伙要她说清楚，到底想不想要孩子了，咋一点儿动静也没有。不过，这个“大伙”里自然是不会包括我们三个的，因着，我们都流过产，旧事，不堪记。真的，我觉得，类似的问题即使是亲密如我们，也还是不提为妙。
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作者:admin@医学,生命科学 2011-02-27 05:12
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